“Sorry. I’m unable to find ‘dragon clown porn cum.'”

Does anyone else find “Virtual assistants” like Siri, OK Google, Alexa, etc., really fucking useless for most things?

“Alexa, turn on the bedroom lights.”

Cue ten seconds of deafening silence before two lights in the kitchen illuminate briefly, followed by “I’m sorry.  I didn’t get that.”

*eye roll*


I installed Philips Hue bulbs so that I could adjust the lighting by voice rather than crawl out of bed to the switch on the wall (yeah, I’m lazy).  It’s now usually less effort to cross the room to the light switch than to correct five voice attempts or go trawling through my phone to the app.